Wanted: Guardian Angel to Watch Over Loved One

We never know how we’ll react in a particular situation until it actually becomes our reality. For those of us who are middle-aged and beyond, we tend to believe that our families and loved ones, especially our parents and children, are immune. We see evidence every day that this is not true. Life holds no guarantees, and in a lot of cases it certainly isn’t fair. If you suddenly find yourself in a complicated and vulnerable position, where do you turn? It turns out that you have options and amazing people to help. 

A woman I spoke with recently shared her very personal story of an “angel” who enriched her mother’s life. Pam’s mother Bernadine, from Mokena, was diagnosed with Stage four liver cancer. The family was devastated to hear the words that came out of the doctor’s mouth; terminal cancer. Pam, not knowing where to turn sought out advice from her home health nurse, Pauline Kennedy McGrath.

From the moment Pam met Pauline she immediately felt her compassion towards her mother Bernadine. “Pauline always spoke to me with honesty and love, she was easy to talk with and would answer me right away when I needed her. I spoke with Pauline far more than I communicated with my mom’s doctor. I trusted she would do what was best for my mom.” When Pam was informed that her mother would undergo several invasive procedures she asked Pauline, “What would you do?” Pauline advised, “Since she didn’t have a lot of time, I suggested Pam consult with the doctor and ask if Bernadine could be taken home.” Pauline encouraged the family to visit with Bernadine as much as they could and to capture some lasting memories. “They could help her write letters to her grandchildren, so that she would be part of the important times in their lives, like weddings, graduations and birthdays.” Bernadine’s family surrounded her with love, filling her bedroom with photos of smiling faces, taking pictures, and talking to her until the end. Pauline reassured Pam that she did all that she could for her mother and that it was alright to give her mother some final peace by whispering, “You can go now, Mom. We love you.” Bernadine peacefully passed away the next day in the comfort of her home with her family around her.

Pauline considers herself lucky. She sometimes becomes so close to the patients she cares for that she is routinely considered one of the family. Even after people have passed, she keeps in touch with their family.  Pauline shares, “We carry those we love with us forever, and it’s nice to have many ways to remember them. Everyone leaves a mark in this world.” She is the daughter of Michael and Mary Kennedy who grew up in a big Irish family with five brothers and a sister on the south side of Chicago. She started her career over twenty five years ago as a caregiver at Misericordia on 47th & California. That experience ignited her passion and she pursued a nursing career. Over the years working at different hospitals, she saw a lot of confusion, pain and heartache. “It was hard watching families feel helpless and not knowing where to turn. I always advise people to research their options, be their own advocates, and voice their concerns.  If they are unable to do so, find someone who can.”

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Pauline Kennedy McGrath now works as the Director of Health Services at Qualicare in Palos Heights, a leader in family home care and outpatient case management. If you’d like to speak with her directly, please contact her at 708-459-6077 or email her at pmcgrath@qualicare.com.